Dear Portland Trailblazers: Get a New Mascot

Pioneer Courthouse Square was filled with people the other day for an Arvydas Sabonis event. The former Trailblazers center drew quite a crowd, and various Blazer-themed decorations fluttered in the wind.

There was also this monstrosity:

I’d forgotten all about Blaze, the Trailblazers’ feline mascot. I didn’t like much seeing him, given that he’s about as compelling a luckwarm bowl of unsweetened frog eggs. I don’t follow basketball closely, but I do have an affinity for the Blazers- I remember rooting for them back in the Clyde Drexler days. I like it when they do well, and was really quite thrilled when they managed to actually beat Houston at the end of last season.

The Blazers, though, really need a new mascot. Blaze seems forced and awkward. He is too cute and insubstantial, and there is nothing quintessentially “Portland” or “Blazerish” about him. Dress him in other colors, and he could be the capering cat of any team. A good mascot should be a standard-bearer. Blaze is a mere placeholder.

A while ago I was talking with some friends, and we all decided that a better option would be to replace Blaze with a sasquatch.

The Seattle Supersonics had the right idea when the did their mascot. Take a look at this:

See that? That’s awesome. Yes, it does kind of look like Teen Wolf, but I’m willing to live with that. Bigfoot is something particular to the Northwest, and a big furry ape is a symbol of our region and would do way more to jazz up the crowd than a cartoon cat in athletic shoes. Now that the Sonics have moved to Oklahoma City, the sasquatch is basically up for grabs.

Portland Trailblazers: Ditch Blaze. Use bigfoot as a mascot. Do it. I guarantee you everyone will love it, and no one will miss the stupid cat.

3 Responses to Dear Portland Trailblazers: Get a New Mascot

  1. Totally agree; there was a movement to switch to Squatch a year or two ago, but Vulcan loves their stupid cat. They’ve gotten better about it, but around the time he was introduced in 2002 (and I freely admit that I’ve only attended a few games in person, so I’m not an authority or anything) they really pushed this entertainment for the whole family thing, and any time play stopped they’d wheel some garbage out ostensibly to amuse children, acrobats or very tall unicycles or whatever, so I understand that Blaze is not aimed at my demo or anything, but I still think he sucks. On the bright side, though, at least he’s better than .

  2. Damn I screwed my link up. Assquack. He’s better than Assquack.

  3. I agree. Blaze doesnt have a good connection to the blazers, other than his name. I have a shirt with words saying “Portland Trailblazers Bigfoot” with a picture of bigfoot spinning a basketball. It’s pretty cool. I like it much more than blaze.

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